Cotton Socks / Vampires
Why do people bless cotton socks, but not other items of clothing?
‘Bless your cotton hat!’ for example.
Is there such a thing as a cotton hat? Surely there is. With so many great inventions in the world, surely a cotton hat is not out of humanity’s reach. SURELY!
Unless there ARE cotton hats, but people just call them ‘hats’ without verbally designating the material they are made from. People are, after all, known to be somewhat reckless.
At any rate …
Lost Scene from Dracula
Van Helsing: Shh! Here we are in the vampire’s tomb. Be very quiet Watson!
Watson: I didn’t say anything. You’re the one saying things.
Van Helsing: Ah! Here’s the beast’s coffin! Now, we very carefully lift the lid – and look, there he lies sleeping.
Watson: A peaceful visage for a loathsome monster.
Van Helsing: Aye. Now, I must pray: Hear me Lord, our Saviour in Heaven – behold this aberration, who has no right to walk your green earth. Hear me, Lord, for I beseech you – bless his cotton socks!
Lord: Okay. Blammo!
Dracula: (sitting up) Eeeeeeeek! Eeeeeeeeek! My feet, my feet, they burn!
Van Helsing: Take that, bloodsucking devil!
Dracula: There are better ways to do this you know!
Van Helsing: At my age you have to mix it up a bit.