The Cat’s Horrible Experience

Once there was a lovely old cat

Called Old Mrs Minkins

The name hadn’t suited her when she had been young

But she’d grown into it handsomely

Old Mrs Minkins was sitting in the sun

In the middle of a beautiful road

When along came Henry in his fast sports car

Driving very fast and not looking where he was going

He was especially distracted to see Susan Sarandon walking along the footpath

She wasn’t known to occur in these parts

Anyway, he came roaring towards Old Mrs Minkins

And Old Mrs Minkins looked and saw him coming

She tried to leap! at the last moment

Up she went! And up and up!

And up and up and up!

And even further up!

Yes, it was true – in her leap to safety, she had ironically gotten her paw caught in a bit of string that was tied to a rocket ship headed for outer space!

Up she went, into the atmosphere

Until her fur began to burn away

She couldn’t breathe!

Hotter and hotter!

Less and less breathing!

She meowed and meowed but no one could hear her

In space, no one can here you meow

Unless both parties have radio transmitters

Ground control to Mrs Minkins!

But not today

Anyway, it was pretty horrendous for her

Later, after Old Mrs Minkins had been saved (that’s another story!)

She was able to look back on the whole experience and laugh

Because fear had driven her mad

And that, boys and girls, is the story of one very special cat’s horrible experience

Note: I don’t know if this a poem so much as a bleak cautionary drama about the dangers of space travel, but whatever.

Terrified cat