Can they play the piano?
Are they good at maths?
I don’t think so.
Do they play chess?
Oooooh, no they don’t.
Do they fly at night?
Well that’s right!
This is an exclusive preview from my new children’s story, entitled ‘The Ways of Bats’. It is an educational book, with accompanying illustrations, such as all the bats sitting around a piano looking confused. Even the clever one with glasses.
The book uses humour to appeal to a child – for example, the very notion of a bat being able to successfully tend and rear hydroponic tomatoes must be a blatant contradiction of some kind of universal law (the verse that deals with that is not included in the excerpt above). Meanwhile, with the child’s conscious mind distracted by such hilarity, their knowledge absorption nodes are being inundated with a deluge of hard reality facts about bats.
I am printing off several dozen drafts to send to various publishers, then I’ll play them off against each other.
As for now I better go, as Squeakfeather is getting curious about what I’m doing and I’d rather not tell him. He dated a bat once, and it ended pretty badly. He still speaks well of the 1/8th of a mile high club though.