FROM coffee TO croissants! What a range! Is my enthusiasm coming across adequately? I’m not sure! Such a crazy selection! At one end of the scale you have coffee … and then far, far away, at the other end of the scale (the scale of ‘Things You Might Find at an Airport Bakery Cafe’) is CROISSANTS!

CAN YOU BELIEVE IT!?

Okay, okay, I must admit, I am being a tad sarcastic. It may be that I did not find this claim from Mrs Fields Bakery Cafe to be entirely boast-worthy. It may even be that I thought perhaps Mrs Fields could do slightly better at enticing potential discerning customers (such as myself) to her establishment if she’d just cut to the chase with a sign that said ‘We have exactly the same old boring shit as you would expect from pretty much anywhere’.

But THEN, for a glorious moment, I wondered if Mrs Fields was speaking alphabetically, and thus served a whole bunch foods that fell between ‘coffee’ and ‘croissants’? ‘Imagine,’ I thought to myself, ‘if they serve every type of food that alphabetically falls between those two reference points! That could be quite a few interesting dishes!’

In excited anticipation I looked a little closer. Unfortunately I quickly realised that ‘coffee’ and ‘croissant’ are actually not too distant from each other, alphabetically speaking. In fact ‘coffee’ starts with a C and so does ‘croissant’. In desperation my eyes flickered to the second letter, where I discovered that ‘coffee’ has an O and ‘croissant’ has an R. These secondary letters, which I was momentarily foolhardy enough to think might point to culinary gold, are actually also pretty close to each other in the alphabet.

If only Mrs Fields had reversed the order, and instead written ‘from Croissants to Coffee’, she could have turned this into some kind of round-the-world trip sorta thing, heading out from CR through the entire alphabet, all the way to Z, to then loop around to A in order to get back to CO. That would have been, like, all the foods in the entire world!

Sadly, this was not the case. THIS WAS NOT THE CASE.

‘But perhaps I am being meanspirited’, I thought to myself, as I removed my covid mask to spit on the sign. ‘Maybe I am indeed being ignorant. Maybe there are plenty of interesting foodstuffs that lie between CO and CR?’

Thus I present to you, a possible menu from Mrs Fields Bakery Cafe at Sydney Airport.

Yes, it turned out, I had been wrong about Mrs Fields, after all. It turned out that, in fact, I had to eat crow.

Well, not literally, as ‘crow’ is outside the letter range (just), but you know what I mean.

By the way, my apologies that this blog has been much neglected. It has been a hell of a year, what with covid and having a new baby boy. At least, as you can see, I figured that when I finally returned, I should cover the important stuff first.