The Cat’s Horrible Experience
Once there was a lovely old cat
Called Old Mrs Minkins
The name hadn’t suited her when she had been young
But she’d grown into it handsomely
Old Mrs Minkins was sitting in the sun
In the middle of a beautiful road
When along came Henry in his fast sports car
Driving very fast and not looking where he was going
He was especially distracted to see Susan Sarandon walking along the footpath
She wasn’t known to occur in these parts
Anyway, he came roaring towards Old Mrs Minkins
And Old Mrs Minkins looked and saw him coming
She tried to leap! at the last moment
Up she went! And up and up!
And up and up and up!
And even further up!
Yes, it was true – in her leap to safety, she had ironically gotten her paw caught in a bit of string that was tied to a rocket ship headed for outer space!
Up she went, into the atmosphere
Until her fur began to burn away
She couldn’t breathe!
Hotter and hotter!
Less and less breathing!
She meowed and meowed but no one could hear her
In space, no one can here you meow
Unless both parties have radio transmitters
Ground control to Mrs Minkins!
But not today
Anyway, it was pretty horrendous for her
Later, after Old Mrs Minkins had been saved (that’s another story!)
She was able to look back on the whole experience and laugh
Because fear had driven her mad
And that, boys and girls, is the story of one very special cat’s horrible experience
Note: I don’t know if this a poem so much as a bleak cautionary drama about the dangers of space travel, but whatever.